I enjoyed my first experience with Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday so much that I have decided to participate every week. Which brings us to my next installment of Abens in Remota, my novel in progress. Before you read my snippet please take note of the fact that many other authors are also involved with SFFS at http://scififansat.blogspot.com/.
Now our protagonists find themselves in a silent place, attempting to adjust to life together again after millenniums apart. This new physical reality is a slowly thawing thing:
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She considers the way he wordlessly studies her on the way out, wondering if he is comparing her new form to the original, or to all the others she has inhabited. This current vessel feels so small and soft when considering the others, and when regarding her first body–the one Sean fell in love with–some saw-toothed thing works back and forth in her chest cavity, jabs knitting needles through her tear ducts into her skull, spills boiling oil down her shoulders and back. She realizes the grimace she wears must be unpleasant, but so is jealousy of yourself, of your former beauty. Then again her lover is only a pale sliver of his own former majesty. With a neck swivel and a smirk she returns to work.
They go on subdued sightseeing expeditions now that they live in Washington, DC. There are no pyramids constructed of blindingly bright indestructible material, no long-necked, needle-toothed Lebonectus craning toward the subway to snap reptilian jaws at Sean and Cordelia as they ride past. There are no corpse pits, no sentient trees used in place of buildings. Instead the world passing by their subway car is populated by loading docks and clogged roads, schools and pedestrian traffic. It should be neither exciting nor new, but this is not the District of Columbia they have known so many times.
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You can read others snippet from Abens in Remota in my previous blog posts: Tag Part 2 and Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday Round 1. Thanks for reading, and do let me know if you have any suggestions! And please don’t forget to read the other authors of SFFS at http://scififansat.blogspot.com/.
Wow. Such clear flashes of ‘what used to be’ in this snippet. Makes one hunger for more. Bravo!
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Thanks! I wasn’t sure what to select as a snippet…so far not much action.
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Sometimes scenes without much action are better for snippets. At least that’s been my experience. Your mileage may vary. 🙂
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Great snippet…really enjoyed the imagery presented.
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Thanks, T.M.!
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Cool. As hauntingly melancholic as this was, there was a distinct beauty in it (maybe it’s the words you used)…I really enjoyed this. Keep GOING!! 😀
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Gosh…blushing…melancholy and beauty are the mix I was hoping for, but unsure if I achieved. Thanks for the feedback!
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I’m quite startled to find these two in our own world, in the USA – it gives a whole new slant upon them. The writing is evocative and effective – I like it.
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Well, we’re on our world when we get to know the characters. As for where we end up…well, that’s the fun part. In the meantime thanks so much for the input!
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Oddly poignant. I really liked the odd juxtaposition between what was and what is.
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Not sure which I like best–being odd or poignant–but I’m happy about it all! Thanks so much for reading.
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This is such an intriguing story, over all. Wonderful descriptive snippet, too. 🙂
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Thank you, Gayle!
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I like looking at familiar things from an alien point of view.
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That’s fun, isn’t it? But after three chapters of this I feel the need to really get things moving further away from the familiar…much further.
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I like the “jealousy of former self’s beauty” bit the best. So true. These snippets are killing me. Need mooooore. *moans like a sci-fi zombie*
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What do you mean “like” a sc-fi zombie? Aren’t you one already????
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Nice contrast between the former and the present, for both the protagonist and DC
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Thanks, Tina!
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Wonderful imagery and wording, great premise and an oddly haunting snippet.
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Wonderful snippet! I can feel her sense of how things have changed and how unsettled she is by those changes.
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Makes me wonder what the hell happened to Washington?!
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🙂 I wonder that every time I go there…
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You write very visual descriptions. Thank you for sharing 🙂
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